Sunday, October 16, 2011

This is a pity, working through it post, FYI

Most of the people who've seen me (or see me regularly) know that I haven't been feeling well lately. I'm getting nervous about it, but know that it will be fine.

I've posted about my weight loss journey a while ago, and have mentioned it several times since. It's been more of a struggle lately - the weight loss has slowed, plateaued and not moved. Since the end of August, but really I've had issues throughout the summer. I thought it had something to do with it being summer - I'm eating at different times, and although I was following my plan fairly closely, there were some more off days than I usually have.
School started, and I thought everything would go back to normal, but right around Labor Day, I started feeling exhausted. I didn't put much thought to it, because I went back to school full-time, and a variety of germs and viruses were making their rounds.
I'm still feeling run down. I've also started to notice that I'm paler (my mom has commented on it several times), my hair is different (when I dyed it to cover my roots, I used a LOT less dye than normal), and I can't get enough sleep. I'm started to get into a funk, and I'm fighting really hard to stay positive and happy. I mean, I have absolutely no real reason to be upset: I'm LOVING my job, I love the people around me, and my classes are pretty sweet. Girl Guides is stressful right now, but I am able to reduce my workload there and have done that.
I know what you're going to ask, and yes, I actually went to the doctor (had to take half a day off, but it was serious enough to me that I had to... which those of you who know me really well know that takes a lot of worry to do). She sent me for bloodwork. I called back a week later about my results... she doesn't give them over the phone, BUT she does get her receptionist to make an appointment if there is something she sees. She didn't have that type of note in my file.
I'm going back this week to get some answers. Of course, I've done a bit of googling, and to me, it sounds like I have hypothyroid issues. (It also says I may have cancer, mono, stress: let's just say I know to take ALL of the medical advice I find online with a LOT of "salt.") But what if my levels are normal-ish? What sucks is I don't have a baseline to work from... I haven't gone in for bloodwork to set as a baseline (I forgot the last time I had a physical). Will she take my word that something is wrong? Will she blame me, that my weight loss is to blame (or this plateau means nothing, even if it's lasted for months now)?
I guess I shouldn't worry... there's nothing I can do right now about it (did you know that depression and anxiety are also symptoms of thyroid problems?).
Part of me is also worried that it's an auto-immune disease... between Mom, Theresa, my cousin that has MS, my other cousin that has meniere's, other distant relatives that have polycystic kidneys (no blood relation, but still), the huge amount of arthritis in the family... I don't want to join that club.

I decided to lose weight to be healthy. Other than that number, I WAS (except for the wrist). Why am I now sick when I tried??

okay, maybe venting will let me go to sleep. If you read all of this, thank you. Please realize it's just me trying to make sense of this, not trying to be a downer.

Here's hoping Tuesday is the day of answers!! 

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