... at the time you're reading this, I'll be prepping for weight loss surgery. In Tijuana. As of this evening, I will have had 80-85% of my stomach removed in a VSG (vertical sleeve gastrectomy).
I know there's going to be a ton of questions, and instead of saying the same thing a billion times, I'm writing it here. And, I'll be honest, I'm not too sure how people will react to this - so far, everyone has been supportive, but I KNOW I have people in my life who won't understand.
Please read this... I'm listing every possible question and my answer.
WHY?
Easiest answer - because I don't know what else to do. I'm 30, and have issues with my weight since I was 5 (I've written about this before). I don't have genetics on my side, and I can't do it on my own. It's not that I don't have willpower - I strongly believe that there are underlying issues that I cannot get to a healthy weight on my own. I am healthy right now, too (for the most part - that exhaustion is still plaguing me), and I don't want to develop the weight issues so many people do.
What is VSG?
VSG is a laparoscopic procedure. Using only a few small incisions into the abdomen, they staple and removed the stretchy part of the stomach. The procedure takes about 30 minutes from start to finish. It removes a lot of the production of grehlin, the hormone that triggers hunger and cravings. The more hormone, the less likely you feel full.
While the person typically doesn't lose weight as fast as lapband, VSG has fewer side effects. Because there is no 'rerouting' of the digestive system, there is not the malnutrition and deficiencies of a bypass. All it does is reduce the stomach size to about 4-6 oz. - still enough to eat and maintain health, but with a physical obstacle to overeating.
We all know exercise and eating properly works. Why not try harder?
Many of you have seen me eat - I don't eat a lot most of the time, and I do exercise nearly every day. Yup. Does it work? Well, sometimes yes, but again, not at the significance I need it to. And I will HAVE to eat properly and exercise to get to my goal weight.
Weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out - I will fight cravings, and watch my nutrition carefully. I could technically live off ice cream and simple carbs with a sleeve, and while I might lose, I couldn't get to a healthy weight. I WILL be exercising and eating healthy - this tool will help me.
Why not try another diet then?
What diet is left? I've done WW, online, meetings, track my own, slimfast, cabbage soup, cleanses, vegetarianism, a supplement-based company (that my Dr is convinced messed with my body and the exhaustion), curves, gym, exercise, running, lowcal, lowfat, no carb, pills, liquids only, cayenne drinks... I've tried every diet since I was 8. I can't afford to do this! And, to be honest, the research shows that WW and the like are only good for 6 months. Many studies say the only permanent weight loss is surgery based.
I HAVE willpower - a lot of those diets I did for over six months. I do lose weight, but it's the maintaining that is the problem. Or hitting a plateau, or pushy people in various places saying obviously I don't care enough because "everyone else" can lose it if they do it right.
For the love of Pete (get that, huh? Peters, Pete... never mind), WHY DO THIS IN MEXICO???
Ideally, I'd love to do it in Canada. Unfortunately, there are a lot of issues trying to do it here.
1: there is only one bariatric centre in SK. In Regina.
2: There is at LEAST a 5-7 year waiting list.
3. From what I could gather, I am NOT heavy enough or sick enough to even get onto the list.
So why would I wait to get sicker? By the time I actually get to that point, how miserable would I be?
I'm going through a local company: Weight Loss Forever. (Check the website... it's pretty informative, especially the video at the bottom about the cabanas I'm recovering in...) The facility in Mexico is ranked higher than medical places in Canada, and along the lines of well-known hospitals in the states. Their designation also means a surgeon with excellent training/track records. No to mention the ONLY thing they deal with is bariatric surgery. Seriously, no one spewing flu germs around -just people getting the sleeve! The centre has a very low rate of complications, and has amazing support - I can contact with medical questions for life. A lot of other surgeons do not offer those services. I also have a facilitator who has done the surgery help me through - pre-op, what to expect... and again, I have that connection for life. And unlike other places, I don't have to keep paying: the price I paid is all I give the company. Period. (And please don't ask about price - you all know I HATE talking finances. I had to budget, and I have acquired some debt. However, it's way cheaper than some of the long-term solutions I had attempted within 5 years).
But why not just like yourself?
I'm sure that my weight has had me judged by strangers, colleagues and acquaintances, and I wouldn't be surprised if I've been judged about my teaching abilities. Between the taunting in elementary school, the judgements in high school... it starts to tear away at self-image. I'm done with it.
I'd like, for once, to be told that I'm pretty or beautiful from someone I'm NOT related to. Or "You have a pretty smile" (which, as a teenager, you learn also means... "if only the rest was nice"). I have self-confidence - I know my strengths, weaknesses, and how to improve my abilities, but my major weaknesses in my ego have to do with looks.
Do you think this a good idea, being a teacher - what kind of impression are you leaving?
I'll be honest, this was something I struggled with a bit... especially now that I'm dealing with very impressionable middle-school aged kids (especially girls). I don't want them to think the only way I could be happy would be a drastic surgery. BUT I don't want to have the students (or parents) doubt my abilities because of the overweight/lazy stereotypes that are rampant. Am I telling the students? No - they are kids, and they don't need to know every aspect of my life. I'll tell them I'm eating healthier/exercising (which I am doing, but now more focussed)... that is, IF they even notice lol. The staff I've told have been supportive, and I'll deal with parents if any of them question it.
What will you life be like after?
Um, once I recover from the surgery (a liquid diet to help heal my stomach so I don't have any leaks), I'll be NORMAL... okay, whatever kind of normal I am ;)
I will be taking two weeks off of work - thanks to Graham for taking my classes for me! I have to eat protein rich diets, and not a whole lot of food, but I will still be a sarcastic, music-playing, photo geek who will sub in the afternoons after my band/arts ed mornings. I will have to do a LOT more clothes shopping (as weight loss happens rapidly the first 6 months), so I may need help shopping ;)
I'm hoping that the negative responses were only in my head, and my friends and family know that I NEED to do this. I don't need critics in my corner - I have one in my head all the time ;) If you have questions, of course ask away! Most of all, I hope people are there for me, no matter what. I also promise not to flood facebook /twitter with massive updates on this. I'll do some, don't get me wrong, but not everyday :)
Now... to "enjoy" the next few days in Mexico (in the hospital for another day as a precaution, then 2 days in the adjoining hotel) - back in Stoon Saturday. My cell is on wifi - imessage or facebook me...
Thanks for being the awesome people you are :)
Ali
I know there's going to be a ton of questions, and instead of saying the same thing a billion times, I'm writing it here. And, I'll be honest, I'm not too sure how people will react to this - so far, everyone has been supportive, but I KNOW I have people in my life who won't understand.
Please read this... I'm listing every possible question and my answer.
WHY?
Easiest answer - because I don't know what else to do. I'm 30, and have issues with my weight since I was 5 (I've written about this before). I don't have genetics on my side, and I can't do it on my own. It's not that I don't have willpower - I strongly believe that there are underlying issues that I cannot get to a healthy weight on my own. I am healthy right now, too (for the most part - that exhaustion is still plaguing me), and I don't want to develop the weight issues so many people do.
What is VSG?
VSG is a laparoscopic procedure. Using only a few small incisions into the abdomen, they staple and removed the stretchy part of the stomach. The procedure takes about 30 minutes from start to finish. It removes a lot of the production of grehlin, the hormone that triggers hunger and cravings. The more hormone, the less likely you feel full.
While the person typically doesn't lose weight as fast as lapband, VSG has fewer side effects. Because there is no 'rerouting' of the digestive system, there is not the malnutrition and deficiencies of a bypass. All it does is reduce the stomach size to about 4-6 oz. - still enough to eat and maintain health, but with a physical obstacle to overeating.
We all know exercise and eating properly works. Why not try harder?
Many of you have seen me eat - I don't eat a lot most of the time, and I do exercise nearly every day. Yup. Does it work? Well, sometimes yes, but again, not at the significance I need it to. And I will HAVE to eat properly and exercise to get to my goal weight.
Weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out - I will fight cravings, and watch my nutrition carefully. I could technically live off ice cream and simple carbs with a sleeve, and while I might lose, I couldn't get to a healthy weight. I WILL be exercising and eating healthy - this tool will help me.
Why not try another diet then?
What diet is left? I've done WW, online, meetings, track my own, slimfast, cabbage soup, cleanses, vegetarianism, a supplement-based company (that my Dr is convinced messed with my body and the exhaustion), curves, gym, exercise, running, lowcal, lowfat, no carb, pills, liquids only, cayenne drinks... I've tried every diet since I was 8. I can't afford to do this! And, to be honest, the research shows that WW and the like are only good for 6 months. Many studies say the only permanent weight loss is surgery based.
I HAVE willpower - a lot of those diets I did for over six months. I do lose weight, but it's the maintaining that is the problem. Or hitting a plateau, or pushy people in various places saying obviously I don't care enough because "everyone else" can lose it if they do it right.
For the love of Pete (get that, huh? Peters, Pete... never mind), WHY DO THIS IN MEXICO???
Ideally, I'd love to do it in Canada. Unfortunately, there are a lot of issues trying to do it here.
1: there is only one bariatric centre in SK. In Regina.
2: There is at LEAST a 5-7 year waiting list.
3. From what I could gather, I am NOT heavy enough or sick enough to even get onto the list.
So why would I wait to get sicker? By the time I actually get to that point, how miserable would I be?
I'm going through a local company: Weight Loss Forever. (Check the website... it's pretty informative, especially the video at the bottom about the cabanas I'm recovering in...) The facility in Mexico is ranked higher than medical places in Canada, and along the lines of well-known hospitals in the states. Their designation also means a surgeon with excellent training/track records. No to mention the ONLY thing they deal with is bariatric surgery. Seriously, no one spewing flu germs around -just people getting the sleeve! The centre has a very low rate of complications, and has amazing support - I can contact with medical questions for life. A lot of other surgeons do not offer those services. I also have a facilitator who has done the surgery help me through - pre-op, what to expect... and again, I have that connection for life. And unlike other places, I don't have to keep paying: the price I paid is all I give the company. Period. (And please don't ask about price - you all know I HATE talking finances. I had to budget, and I have acquired some debt. However, it's way cheaper than some of the long-term solutions I had attempted within 5 years).
But why not just like yourself?
I'm sure that my weight has had me judged by strangers, colleagues and acquaintances, and I wouldn't be surprised if I've been judged about my teaching abilities. Between the taunting in elementary school, the judgements in high school... it starts to tear away at self-image. I'm done with it.
I'd like, for once, to be told that I'm pretty or beautiful from someone I'm NOT related to. Or "You have a pretty smile" (which, as a teenager, you learn also means... "if only the rest was nice"). I have self-confidence - I know my strengths, weaknesses, and how to improve my abilities, but my major weaknesses in my ego have to do with looks.
Do you think this a good idea, being a teacher - what kind of impression are you leaving?
I'll be honest, this was something I struggled with a bit... especially now that I'm dealing with very impressionable middle-school aged kids (especially girls). I don't want them to think the only way I could be happy would be a drastic surgery. BUT I don't want to have the students (or parents) doubt my abilities because of the overweight/lazy stereotypes that are rampant. Am I telling the students? No - they are kids, and they don't need to know every aspect of my life. I'll tell them I'm eating healthier/exercising (which I am doing, but now more focussed)... that is, IF they even notice lol. The staff I've told have been supportive, and I'll deal with parents if any of them question it.
What will you life be like after?
Um, once I recover from the surgery (a liquid diet to help heal my stomach so I don't have any leaks), I'll be NORMAL... okay, whatever kind of normal I am ;)
I will be taking two weeks off of work - thanks to Graham for taking my classes for me! I have to eat protein rich diets, and not a whole lot of food, but I will still be a sarcastic, music-playing, photo geek who will sub in the afternoons after my band/arts ed mornings. I will have to do a LOT more clothes shopping (as weight loss happens rapidly the first 6 months), so I may need help shopping ;)
I'm hoping that the negative responses were only in my head, and my friends and family know that I NEED to do this. I don't need critics in my corner - I have one in my head all the time ;) If you have questions, of course ask away! Most of all, I hope people are there for me, no matter what. I also promise not to flood facebook /twitter with massive updates on this. I'll do some, don't get me wrong, but not everyday :)
Now... to "enjoy" the next few days in Mexico (in the hospital for another day as a precaution, then 2 days in the adjoining hotel) - back in Stoon Saturday. My cell is on wifi - imessage or facebook me...
Thanks for being the awesome people you are :)
Ali
This blog post is perfect!
ReplyDeleteTake care and good for you for taking control of your own life in your own way!
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog........wishing you a speedy recovery and find what you are looking for! Guider Brenda
ReplyDelete