Growing up, there was an understanding at home that you didn't complain. Not just the whining, but if you were feeling horrible, you worked through it. My parents (especially Dad) believed that if you made a commitment, only death could be an excuse. More often than not, people would be depending on you, and really, excuses mean very little.
I think for the most part, I've followed that. If I've said I'd do something, I usually do it. I hate asking for help to finish stuff, but I will... but it will get done. However, the way my parents have been treating and talking with me lately, as way as the way people have treated me, I'm learning it's okay to complain, once in a while.
I have been feeling worse. Right now life seems overwhelming to me... a simple task like grocery shopping is exhausting - to do, and it takes away from my crash time in the evenings. My social life - as exciting as it used to be haha - is basically non-existent. Going for drinks afterschool is tiring, and girl guide meetings have be dozing off during them (no, they're not that boring). I've started letting people outside of my close group know, and am happy with all the response I get back. No yelling, eye-rolling (at least not to me) and very understanding. I've resigned some of my positions from GG and have had some flack from that, but mainly understanding.
I guess it's a fine line. If you're overly complaining about everything, people can tell you where to go OR ignore you completely. I've started mentioning to teachers if I've made a comment about being exhausted (usually from some sort of smartass comment like "but you don't have kids," "you don't know exhausted" etc. NOT a bash - I'm smartass as the rest of them!). Nothing but support. Again, what happens after I leave the room might be another story - which is the truth for any group, anywhere! :)
I guess the final piece is my parents' reactions to this. Supportive, absolutely, 100%, no telling me to shut up and suck it up. Dad has gone to the cabin and quietly fixed stuff... if I sleep in in Osler, no comments. Maybe it's because both of them are dealing with their own issues, or they know that if I'm this upset and exhausted, it might be true. In any case, maybe it's okay to show faults.
Yes, I realize this is something I should've realized when I was a teenager - even a sub - but c'est la vie. And I have never held others to that stupid standard...
I think I'll close off now, before I get really comfortable on the psych's couch :)
I think for the most part, I've followed that. If I've said I'd do something, I usually do it. I hate asking for help to finish stuff, but I will... but it will get done. However, the way my parents have been treating and talking with me lately, as way as the way people have treated me, I'm learning it's okay to complain, once in a while.
I have been feeling worse. Right now life seems overwhelming to me... a simple task like grocery shopping is exhausting - to do, and it takes away from my crash time in the evenings. My social life - as exciting as it used to be haha - is basically non-existent. Going for drinks afterschool is tiring, and girl guide meetings have be dozing off during them (no, they're not that boring). I've started letting people outside of my close group know, and am happy with all the response I get back. No yelling, eye-rolling (at least not to me) and very understanding. I've resigned some of my positions from GG and have had some flack from that, but mainly understanding.
I guess it's a fine line. If you're overly complaining about everything, people can tell you where to go OR ignore you completely. I've started mentioning to teachers if I've made a comment about being exhausted (usually from some sort of smartass comment like "but you don't have kids," "you don't know exhausted" etc. NOT a bash - I'm smartass as the rest of them!). Nothing but support. Again, what happens after I leave the room might be another story - which is the truth for any group, anywhere! :)
I guess the final piece is my parents' reactions to this. Supportive, absolutely, 100%, no telling me to shut up and suck it up. Dad has gone to the cabin and quietly fixed stuff... if I sleep in in Osler, no comments. Maybe it's because both of them are dealing with their own issues, or they know that if I'm this upset and exhausted, it might be true. In any case, maybe it's okay to show faults.
Yes, I realize this is something I should've realized when I was a teenager - even a sub - but c'est la vie. And I have never held others to that stupid standard...
I think I'll close off now, before I get really comfortable on the psych's couch :)
It's true. It's okay to say something about how you're feeling. It allows others to understand where you are coming from & let's them know what you may need. It let's others know you a bit more. Besides, we're human. It's okay to complain sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteCould it be fibromyalgia? I hope not but it would explain things.
I sure hope that you get some answers soon. Let me know if I can help you out at work next semester - I have a Period 3 prep.
ReplyDelete